Seriously, do I have to watch the State of the Union now? I mean, any of these things could happen:

• President shouts out Michigan’s football coach
• Harbaugh is invited to give speech
• Harbaugh is not invited to give speech, gives speech anyway
• Harbaugh wears cleats
• Harbaugh nails Joe Biden on a post route
• Harbaugh signs Declaration of Independence, is told that is unnecessary these days, says he has improved document all the same
• camera cuts to Harbaugh gobbling stadium foodstuffs not apparently on sale anywhere in the building

From Unverified Voracity Embraces Expectations